


The adorable derp you guys seem to love~

by stupidHumans (orphan_account)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: M/M, Yaoi, john/karkat - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2012-02-20
Updated: 2012-02-27
Packaged: 2017-10-31 11:45:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/343677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/stupidHumans
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I don't know if I want to keep going, but please send in feedback on whether I should make it legit or not? Thank you sooo much ;-;</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> TROLL AND HUMAN HEIGHTS TALLEST TO SMALLEST: Gamzee, Equius, Sollux, Eridan, Kanaya, Dave, John, Tavros (not in wheelchair), Vriska, Karkat, Terezi, Rose, Aradia, Jade, Feferi, Nepeta  
> Gamzee and Equius’ height: I saw them both extremely tall, but since Equius is so built and I picture Gamzee as lanky Gamzee came in as tallest. I imagine Gamzee at 6”5, Equius at 6”3, Sollux at 6”2, Eridan at 6”2, Dave at 6”1, John at 6”0, Kanaya at 5”11, Tavros at 5”10, Vriska at 5”8, Karkat at 5”7, Terezi at 5”6, Rose at 5”6, Aradia at 5”4, Jade at 5”4, Feferi at 5”2, and Nepeta at 5”1. Just facts to add to the story.

John couldn’t. Never. And yet, in a rushed blurt of a sentence during Pre-Calculus, he did. And yet, though the guy he had feelings for probably didn’t, he did. Because that’s how John was.

Emotions were about as reactive inside John as a piece of phosphorus in room temperature water. Once it happened, it had to be released.  
Which pretty much was the worst simile ever.

And pathetically, he didn’t care. He had wanted Karkat to know. John isn’t a person to keep secrets about himself. John just had to let it out, before he internally combusted. 

So when Karkat called John a little after school, John nearly vomited with shock. He was trembling throughout the whole awkward silence after his giddy ‘Hello?’ had been met with a monotonic, growly ‘Hey.’  
John held his breath, knowing if he tried speaking it would run together in an uncomfortable blabber. John figured he’d just wait for the troll to speak.

 

Ugh. The miserable fuck couldn’t even keep talking after greeting. Karkat slumped down onto the floor, phone in hand. So, he pushed the conversation along.  
“Look, Egbert, I don’t hate you anymore.”  
Karkat felt his cheeks burn with his mutated blood and oh /fuck/ the stupid boy sounds excited.

 

John couldn’t contain himself. He was jumping up and down, so ecstatic that the boy he dearly loved didn’t dearly hate him. He began a highly inappropriate and unplanned squeal as he soaked up the words. The emotional charge died as he soon realized that Karkat was just implying that it was now a platonic hate.

John sagged back down into his chair, platonically. It seemed EVERYTHING was fucking ‘platonic’ with Karkat. I only hate you platonically; nothing will ever reach past platonic with you, me, or us. John didn’t want platonic. He also didn’t want a kismesistude. John needed, wanted, and enjoyed love. Or mate-whatevers. And the only person he wanted it from was the dorky, bitchy, snobby midget of an 11th grader.


	2. Chapter 2.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's an alternate universe where they're all human. All of them. Thanks for telling me if I should do it or not :D

“I need your notes from Trig.” Karkat grumbled into the speech thingy. As sad as it was, John was the only other 11th grader in the class, and there was no fucking way Karkat was going to ask someone lower than he. So anyway, here he was, trying to get a fucking point to make a dent in John’s thick skull. Karkat didn’t really want to call John, but there wasn’t another way around to contacting him, save Pesterchum, which has been down for about a week now. Hell, he still didn’t even know what to do with John’s words in Pre-Calculus. He didn’t hate John like that, but he also didn’t know if he liked John like that. Not to mention the last matespritship he had was horrendous.

“Oh! Uh, okay, I’ll drop by your house in a few minutes. Is that okay?” John was thankful for the change of subject. And Karkat’s house was only a couple blocks, easy with his bike. Yeah. John could do this. Notes from Trig.  
“Fine.” 

 

John braced himself as he sped down the sidewalks, heart beating faster at every turn. He could see Karkat’s house from where he was stopped, a pastel red two-story a few houses down the block. He also observed that the grumpy kid was perched on the steps of his house, unruly hair visible from even a couple hundred feet away. Notes in hand, John made a leisurely ride to Karkat’s house look like Tour De France.

“Hey,” John panted, obviously out of shape. Karkat stood up, walked across the front yard to the sidewalk, and grabbed the notes. 

“Thanks. I’ll return them tomorrow in homeroom.” The troll grumbled. John kept up this half-ass smile to try to convince Karkat that he was the same guy before any of the Pre-Calculus shit happened. 

“A-alright, Karkat. See you later then.” They turned to part ways, but before they got too spread apart, John swiveled back and reached over Karkat’s shoulder to make contact with his cheek. Before Karkat could do anything physically, John almost literally jumped onto his bike and rapidly sped back down the sidewalks. Karkat just stared after him, and rubbed the moist spot where John had kissed him.

 

John felt like screaming. Why the hell did he do that? Better yet, did Karkat enjoy it? God, NO John, suppress your stupid feelings and just go home to your stupid house with your stupid dad who bakes stupid cakes.

Life felt stupid.

Exponentially so when John got a text as he slowed his pace.

CG: WHAT THE HELL.

John wasn’t going to answer that right then.


End file.
